Finding a Filipina girlfriend is easy. Finding a Filipina wife is easy. Living with the values of a woman from the Philippines, may not be easy for you. We have full respect for our elders, and telling you about this means, that being a boyfriend or a husband you should do the same level of respect we give to our elders.
One big mistake of most foreigners is point blankly telling what they think about some things, which may be contrary to what the elders think or may not want to hear. The way you speak in a bold and aggressive manner about things may hurt the feelings of the elders. As much as your Filipina girlfriend or Filipina wife wants you to speak for yourself, but when it comes to elders, it is safer and much better to just nod, smile, and keep your mouth shut.
Our love for our parents and the parents of our parents, and all the older generations are so high, that we don’t want them to get hurt in any way. They are too old for that, and sending in or making a stressful conversation is not acceptable. In as much as possible, honor their beliefs and their thoughts and just keep quiet.
If you want to speak out your beliefs, you can talk with tact and in a low voice, slow manner so they can clearly here you and understand you. If you sense, the elder won’t let you win, please keep quiet or you are going to make a big issue out of it with your wife and family.
Does this make sense to you? We, Filipina ladies, value our relationships with our elders that sometimes, as much as we don’t want it to happen, their decisions often rule our lives. We love and respect them so much that we do not want our father getting angry nor do we want to see our mother in tears.
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In fact, it is not a practice here in the Philippines to leave them under the care of a nursing home when they are old. They live with the siblings and it will remain like that for generations to come.
We want to take care of them and make sure they eat on time and drink their medicines on time. We want to make sure they are happy and are well taken care of.
So, what do you do when you are here?
First, when you see an elder, you need to ask your girlfriend if you need to bless the hand of the person. It is important that you do not miss this ultimate sign of respect for the Filipinos.
Second, you call the elders as Auntie, Uncle, Lolo, Lola, Papa or Mama, but not address them with their names. Not addressing them properly is an insult and a sign of disrespect.
Third, you always let the elders be the first to sit. If they want to stand, you always offer them to sit. I assume you are younger, so if there is no other vacant chair, you are expected to stand. The elders sit first, and then the ladies, that is just the way here in the Philippines.
Fourth, bring some gifts to the elders when you visit. It may not be luxury gifts, but they will be happy receiving chocolates or tshirts, even if they may not be able to eat the chocolates due to health reasons, but they would be happy to receive them from you. It is the thought that counts!
So much for the elders, now let us talk about the other members of the family.
Filipinas are very loyal, caring, and faithful to their boyfriends and husbands. This is one of the reasons, foreigners are coming over to marry a Filipina. Filipina ladies are very much family oriented, but you need to understand the culture of a closely knit families.
Siblings, as long as they are single, or sometimes, even if they are married often lives with the parents. Although they are not financially dependent on their parents, it is just the way things are here in the Philippines. Siblings stay with their parents and work hard to provide for themselves and for the family.
Family members help each other in any way they could. The success of one is a success all will claim, because they are proud of their brothers and sisters and cousins. So, let us talk about the gifts.
If you are a foreigner coming to visit your Filipina girlfriend, better prepare and get same sale items there. It is cheaper by the dozen I guess, because you have to give to each member of the family. Be fair and make sure no one’s forgotten. Just in case, you bring extra shirts and makeups, so you can fish on your bag and give.
You can never change the culture, so live with it! When you are here, you should be ready to meet the troop and go out with the group. Families come in families, that includes the friends and the neighbors. If you are flying on a budget, please tell your girlfriend ahead that you will be spending only this much so she can refrain herself, and the siblings, and the parents from inviting many people during dinner or lunch to meet you.
Do not shame the family by not paying the bill at the restaurant in full. As a foreigner and a man, you are expected to pay the bill at the restaurant. Other siblings may share the expense, but that normally rarely happens. The foreign boyfriend is usually expected to give the treat during the visit.
Filipinas are friendly and naturally shy. They are a bit conservative, hard to get, and practice modesty and restraint. You have to be a trustworthy person to convince them to spend time alone with you.
Do you want to get the approval of the best friend and the members of the family? Bring presents and lots of it. Chocolates and makeups are fine for the women. Shirts are fine for the men. This gesture is viewed favorably by the community.
If you have a different religion and beliefs, it is better not to start a conversation about it. Majority of the Filipinas are Catholics and are very devoted to their religion. Although there are other sects now, they are still tied and devoted to their group and religion.
It is a big no to speak negatively about their family and religion. So, keep your mouth shut about this. My piece of advice, settle this matter with your girlfriend before you come here. Make sure everything is okay before you meet the family.
If you court a Filipina, it is like courting the family and relatives too. When you marry a Filipina, you are marrying the family too. Be very patient, you will get there!
Let us get one thing straight. Filipinas are not scammers and they do not see you as a bank. The common thinking that foreigners are treated like a bank is wrong.
You may not understand how the culture of helping each other evolves in the Philippines and that includes gift giving. Because the siblings help each other, as a husband, you are also expected to at least help the other siblings or relatives.
You may not contribute that much, but it would be wise to help in little ways you can. Definitely, you are not treated as a bank, but you are now a member of the family, and members of the family help each other. It would be wise to talk about this with your wife so everything will come out good for you.
Gift giving is a culture and I repeat, you are not an ATM machine or bank. You just do not understand the culture yet. When you stay here in the Philippines, you should not forget important occasions, such as birthdays, Christmas, New Year, anniversaries, graduations, and ask your wife about her list of special occasions. Your girlfriend or wife would really expect a gift from you and a good dinner treat on special occasions. Get it now?